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Jodie's User Talk Page

On 20th March 2007, a user named !*!jodie-2007!*! started a User Talk page on Wikipedia for the purpose of conversing with a friend. Since that's clearly against the usage guidelines for Wikipedia, it got a cease and desist notice pinned to it the very same day.

The language used in the discussion had been extremely... colloquial, so on the 24th April Aero Leviathan edited it "for grammar". I'm preserving the result here because a) it's hilarious, and b) it'll probably be deleted.

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Original: hya jodie wat u doin 2nyt lyk hunni?? how mint is dis plz dont tell every1 bout dis tho coz den it will get blocked k. write bk hun lv ya xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Edited: Good afternoon, Jodie. My good friend, I wonder, do you have any plans for this evening? This is quite nice, don't you agree? I implore you, avoid letting anyone else know about our conversations here, as the administration of this site does not take kindly to such things. Please write back! Love and kisses.

Original: dinna mite stay in lyk get a HOT!!!! bath nd tht coz its propa freezing lyk nd am not gettin nuemonia lyk neeway!!!!!!!!!!!! wot ye doin lyk nd i think ye shud strt meetin josh agen lyk coz e tld me e propa lykd ya b4 wen ee wlkd es to da bus station e tld is to tell ye at skool tht e reali lykd nd tht ye wer fit as owt nd all tht stuff ye nar lol write bk lv ye hunni jodz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Edited: I'm not sure; I may remain at home and take a hot bath. Do not underestimate the levels of heat of which I am speaking; after all, the temperatures outside recently are considerably below my tolerance. At any rate, what are your plans? It is my firm opinion that you should recommence courting of Mr. Josh. He has previously expressed to me that he grew quite fond of you during your walks to the bus station; that your figure was much to be desired; and several other things which I believe you can well surmise on your own. (I grin as I write this.) Please write back. You are a good friend, Jodie.

Original: dat was b4 tho n i dint na if he still lyks iz lyk lol. I cant just go n meet him again after ive just finished meeting phenny n brucey n he wudnt want 2 anymore after i stopped meeting him lyk write bk lv ya xxxxxx

Edited: Well, that was quite some time ago, and I wasn't sure whether or not his affection remains. In the interim I have become engaged in relationships with Mr. Phenny, and subsequently (or was it simultaneously?) Mr. Bruce; not to mention, I have neglected to meet with Mr. Josh for some time now. If you would, please write to me again. Hugz.

Original: welllllllllllll HOW DO YOU NAR STOP BEING AN IDIOT AND GO ASK HIM TO CUM OWT WIV U AND TLK TO HIM IN PRIVATE AND ASK HIM HOW HE FEELS BWT YE AND U TELL HIM WT U FINK BWT YOU THEN YOU WILL NAR THE TRUTH SO GET OFF YE BUM ND SORT IT OWT YE GOONNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lv ye lol(do a nwt)

Edited: I emphatically disagree. One never knows until one tries, after all, and I believe you are being exceedingly short-sighted. I suggest you meet with him at once, alone, and discuss your feelings for each other. That is the only way you will truly know. I am quite fond of you and wish you only the best.

Original: well do ya actually fink hes guna cum out wif iz man ffs n hes always wif phenny n i wudnt b able 2 TALK 2 HIM IN PRIVET n anwa i will feel lyk a right GOON

Edited: I do not see how that would be possible; for fuck's sake, Mr. Phenny is almost always accompanying him on his leisurely endeavours. Therefore, I would certainly not have the chance to meet with him under confidential circumstances. Truth be told, however, I do feel rather silly. P.S., the king is a FINK.

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Cf. the Swhack logs for information: reference one, reference two.

Sean B. Palmer, 2007-04-26