The Dictionary and the Channel

As Cody Woodard inimitably explained upon being asked what the benefits of the OED were over Wordnet, "It's the OED, you stupid! Who cares about the 'real benefits'? We're talking about the motherfucking OED here!"

I had the sundry lexicographal daydream of purchasing an organisational license for the OED under the aegis of either Swhack or something to which we could belong. That way we'd be able to use the OED on IRC, using Phenny, though she'd probably have to keep longer quotations off of the logs. As well as that, we could all have web access.

One of the simple tasks I'd like to be able to perform is to ask merely whether a word exists in the OED. It'd be great for Superscrabble. On the other hand, I'll bet the OED doesn't mention anything about Homerhol or lapdog shoesnog yet, so it wouldn't be all that useful for Swhack games. (I link "lapdog shoesnog" there because I found out today that I'm second in a Google search for that phrase, and I would rather like to be first for such a phrase of awesomeness.)

In the future, of course, we won't use words—it'll all be interpretative dance. And all our books will just be numerous copies of Degas, and instead of stationary shops (they don't go anywhere, do they?) selling pens and keyboards and the like, there'll be ballet shoes and togas and funny hats with pink pom-poms on them that make noises when you squeeze them (for the kids, to get them into literature, you understand).

Then no person will be able to say B to a battledore anymore, but I suppose P to a pirouette will be perfectly possible.